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Literature Text
When there is no light,
When there is no hope.
What is there for us,
To keep fighting?
Is it for our family,
Is it for our beloved?
Is it for our dreams?
Is it for our future?
That I do not know,
I don't know the answer.
I don't think I will,
Even with hundreds of years.
I do not think,
That I will ever find an answer.
I don't think I will find,
An answer that will remain constant.
My answer though,
Is the memories.
The memories that I have,
The memories that I hold dear.
Even as I watch my friends,
My own family, turn to dust.
I will still hold the memories,
Of our time and our happiness.
I will hold those memories,
Close to my heart until it no longer beats,
Till my time finally arrives.
And when it does,
I will smile at Death.
I will hold out my hand to him,
And I shall say with pure contentment.
"I'm ready, my old friend."
When there is no hope.
What is there for us,
To keep fighting?
Is it for our family,
Is it for our beloved?
Is it for our dreams?
Is it for our future?
That I do not know,
I don't know the answer.
I don't think I will,
Even with hundreds of years.
I do not think,
That I will ever find an answer.
I don't think I will find,
An answer that will remain constant.
My answer though,
Is the memories.
The memories that I have,
The memories that I hold dear.
Even as I watch my friends,
My own family, turn to dust.
I will still hold the memories,
Of our time and our happiness.
I will hold those memories,
Close to my heart until it no longer beats,
Till my time finally arrives.
And when it does,
I will smile at Death.
I will hold out my hand to him,
And I shall say with pure contentment.
"I'm ready, my old friend."
Just a little thought on my part put into words. I wonder if anybody will get the Harry Potter reference I made? Hint: It is a reference from Deathly Hallows.
Disclaimer:
This entire written piece is my own creation. Please do not claim it as your own. Thank you.
Disclaimer:
This entire written piece is my own creation. Please do not claim it as your own. Thank you.
© 2015 - 2024 mikotohidotori
Comments4
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I really enjoyed the last three stanzas. There's so much emotion and clarity in them that it leaves the beginning three stanzas wanting. In fact, I think the second and third stanzas could be removed and it would improve the poem.
It's actually a bit confusing where in the third stanzas the narrator is stating that they are unable to find an answer and they never could, but then the fourth stanza opens with an answer. I understand that the answer isn't a constant, but it's still confusing to the reader. Either there is an answer (even if it's only temporary) or there isn't an answer. No cake and eating it too!
I don't know how you write, but my personal method (on short pieces) is to start and see where it takes me. Then once I'm done I have to go back and edit the beginning because it's so much worse than the end. The beginning lacked the rhythm I found half way through. Honestly, I think that's exactly what happened here. You ended it so well because the idea came and your fingers flew with it. Now the beginning just needs to be edited to fit in better.
Does that make sense?
Overall, I think you have a wonderful start, but I really do feel this could be severely improved on a second look. Just get back into that groove you had at the end.
It's actually a bit confusing where in the third stanzas the narrator is stating that they are unable to find an answer and they never could, but then the fourth stanza opens with an answer. I understand that the answer isn't a constant, but it's still confusing to the reader. Either there is an answer (even if it's only temporary) or there isn't an answer. No cake and eating it too!
I don't know how you write, but my personal method (on short pieces) is to start and see where it takes me. Then once I'm done I have to go back and edit the beginning because it's so much worse than the end. The beginning lacked the rhythm I found half way through. Honestly, I think that's exactly what happened here. You ended it so well because the idea came and your fingers flew with it. Now the beginning just needs to be edited to fit in better.
Does that make sense?
Overall, I think you have a wonderful start, but I really do feel this could be severely improved on a second look. Just get back into that groove you had at the end.