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About Deviant Artist Marisa CunninghamFemale/United States Group :icontheseireitei: TheSeireitei
RP for everyone~
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Deviant for 6 Years
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Literature
Loving Me
Cold
Alone
Afraid
Uncaring
These things I felt
So many times
Each night when
Nobody was around
The fireplace was alive
Roaring with life
Right before
My empty eyes
Tears,
Running down my face
My fists,
Clenched at my sides
My teeth,
Gnashing together
Creating an
Uncomfortable feeling in my jaw
They left for the night
Leaving me alone with the dog
With my emotions
And my unsteady thoughts
So much was overwhelming
Crashing and crashing
Over and over again
Like waves in a storm
I knew better than
To believe that
What I was thinking
Was an okay thing
Just make this stress
Make this torment
Make it all stop
Just this once
My legs began to move
Taking me to the kitchen
In front of one drawer
Out of many others
In it held the knives
Freshly sharpened
Sitting silently inside
Waiting patiently
I want to reach out
Open the drawer
But, for some reason
I stop and can’t
I close my eyes
My emotions and thoughts
Having collided earlier
Are now in turmoil
My eyes are closed
Blocking out the dark
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Literature
Limelight Trials
Here I sit
In the shadows
Of people
Who are better than me
Each day I try
Try to claw
Claw my way out
Out of their shadows
But to no avail
I’m thrown back
Back into their shadows
Away from the limelight
I beg
I plead
I try
And I fail
Fail to get them to see
To see me in the same light as them
As those who
Are considered superior to me
Here I am
Trying once more
Trying to form a connection
But with no success
Those who I talk to
Who I try to get to know
They sneer at me
And at my attempts of friendship
Am I not good enough?
Is it because I’m not as likable?
Is it because I’m socially inept?
Why does nothing work?
I try and try
With no end in sight
People who are close to me
Ignore my cries
My pleads to let me out
Out of the shadows
Out of their shadows
And into the limelight
I’m waiting still
And trying still
Trying to make friends
And waiting to step into the light
But I know
That will never happen
For who could ever
Wish to be my friend?
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Literature
Limited Freedom
Trapped in a large cage
With only a little time to myself
My ankles were shackled
But the chain was long
What could be considered freedom
Was only an illusion
Comply to their demands
Agree with what they say
Never question them
Never fight back
Do those things
And I was given “freedom”
However, whenever I did fight back
When I didn’t comply
When I didn’t agree with them
They torn me to pieces and took away my limited “freedom”
The chain grew shorter
Time passing by
The cage grew smaller
My “freedom” becoming more limited
They had decided my future
They had decided on what I should do
Wary but still alive
I begrudgingly complied
But one day, something changed
Someone new had entered the picture
He had stepped into my cage
And gave me solace
It felt like bliss for a time
But then I broke him with my despair
And when I broke him
He left
Then along came a new person
He was different but familiar
He had spoken to me from outside my cage
Making
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Literature
Her Pain
They stood in her bedroom, it was nighttime and the hearth in her room was filled with the sounds of a roaring fire. The room was cast in warm light but all either of them felt was cold and the pounding of their heads from on-coming headaches. To their right was a desk, the surface covered with a mound of papers, letters in fact, letters from him to her. She stood in front of the fireplace, her back to the flames with her arms cradling each other at the front of her body. She smiled softly at him, it was a smile that he was familiar with. In the past, whenever they were together, she would always have that same smile on her face. He had asked her about it once before, asked why she always smiled when she was around him. Her response was a simple and somewhat shocked statement of how happy she was to be around him that she couldn’t help it. But why now, of all times, after they had just finished yelling at each other?
They didn’t care how loud they had been, didn’t car
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Literature
Stranded
Alone in the ocean
Stranded on an island
It’s just me, myself, and I
The boat that I came to shore with is stuck in the sand
While the other boats all float around the island
Being pulled by the waves, away from my island
For decades I sat there on that island
Alone, listening to the sounds of joy
From the far off boats
Filled with people who I did not know
They weren’t alone
But I was
And that fact stuck with me
For so long
How long have I stared at the horizon
Wishing, waiting, hoping
For anyone to come and rescue me
Or to join me on my island
Over time
I had given up
Resigning myself to being alone
Just me, myself, and I
But as the sun began to rise on another day
I saw something in the distance
A boat? No, two boats! No!
Five boats all headed towards my island!
Are they stranded too?
Or are they here to rescue me?
I stood from my spot in the sand
And ran to the shoreline to greet them
One of the boats came to shore
The others drifted a little offshore
And out of the sin
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Literature
You Are Beautiful
You, yes you, dear reader,
You are beautiful.
And do you know why?
Because you are who you are
Whether you exude confidence and joy
Or only show your true self to the people who love you
You are still beautiful
You’re like the fresh drops of dew in the early morning sun
Your smile is like a flower coming into full bloom in the first weeks of spring
Your eyes hold the wonder and light of all the stars in the galaxy
And your voice, it is like the waves lapping at the sand, relaxing and remarkable
Your hair can be the most tangled mess in the world but it still shines in the light
Your hands, whether they’re calloused or smooth, are soft to the touch
And your personality, it can be compared to many things
But I’d say it’s like a mixture of the four elements
There is a roaring fire shown through your spirit and drive for life
Your kindness is like the soft pitter patter of rain against your skin
A gentle summertime breeze resounds through your love for others
And th
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Literature
His Story
“Termonious, come on, wake up silly! We were going to play with Mercutio today, so you gotta wake up.”
He recognized that voice, he had heard it so many times throughout his life how could he not recognize it. It was her, with her short black hair and her bright green eyes. He had opened his eyes and let out a loud yawn as he sat up and stretched, almost hitting the girl who had been calling his name.
“Hey! Be careful Termonious, you almost hit me in the face with the top of your head.” He laughed at that and grinned at her, pushing himself up off of the ground.
“Then maybe you shouldn’t hover over me like that, Adonia.” She huffed at him in slight annoyance but couldn’t help but smile before grabbing his hand and pulling him along behind her.
“Well, come on then! Mercutio won’t wait for us if we take too long!”
He could feel someone rubbing circles into his chest, the sensation slowly bringing him back from the dream wo
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Literature
Uncertainty
My dearest lord,
I feel afraid of you,
Afraid of telling you the truth.
I'm terrified of my uncertainty,
My words that could cause you so much distress.
A spur of the moment decision was made on my part,
And as the severity begins to dawn on me...
I feel it.
I feel it in my soul...
Fear.
The fear of letting you know...
That my uncertainty will show,
That it will show through everything else.
Please...
Forgive me.
Sincerely,
The golden-eyed minx.
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Literature
After It's All Said and Done
She had lost everything to him. Rose, her dearest sister, had her life stolen from her the night that they bought that infernal music box and made that god forsaken wish.
The night after she had gathered all of the other Heroes of Strength, Will, and Skill, he came again. Having captured those Heroes and sent them off to the Spire, he had revelled in the truth that spilled from his lips. Her husband, her son, her daughter; dead, and by his own hand!
When he had aimed that pistol at her, she almost gave up and began to accept defeat. But that was not to be for as he pulled the trigger, her lifelong friend, her dog, leapt in front of her. He took the bullet straight to the chest then once again, Lucien took aim and fired. His bullet was not blocked this time and when it pierced her skull, she blacked out.
She had heard a voice, the voice of the blind seer who saved her many years ago after being shot out of Lucien’s castle. That’s right, it wasn’t time for her to die ju
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Literature
At Dawn
Sheathe your sword and wait for the morrow.
For at dawn, we fight as one.
For justice and freedom,
For life and hope,
We shall make our stand here.
Sharpen your axe and cleave with its blade.
For our dreams and ideals
Holding them high above our heads.
As we fight, they will aid us
For at dawn we’ll fight.
String your bow and nock your arrow
Take aim and never lose sight
Of what we fight for
Of what we’re here for
For at dawn we fight.
And when the midday sun has risen
Higher and higher into the sky
Lay down your weapons
The war has ended
For at dawn we fought.
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Doodles4 by mikotohidotori Doodles4 :iconmikotohidotori:mikotohidotori 2 0
Literature
Never Change
Oh, what a fool you are
Thinking you can escape
Trying to love yourself
You can't help but lie
Lie to yourself
Lie to your family
You'll never change
No matter what you do
Nothing will change
You "love" yourself?
Get real
You never have
And guess what?
You never will
And you want to know why
Because I am you
I know that you won't change
We'll stay the same
You'll lose hope
You'll end up with nothing
Just like you always have
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Doodles 3 by mikotohidotori Doodles 3 :iconmikotohidotori:mikotohidotori 7 0
Literature
Inner Voices
Can you hear them
The voices that linger
And within my mind
They resound
Resonating as one
Voices of them
Of the ones who have
Torn me apart
They eat at my mind
Always there to scorn me so
Echoes of the past
Warping every thought, every action
Whore
Liar
Selfish
Bitch
These voices
Of those who never knew the truth
They stay with me
Never leaving my side
"Give up."
"No matter what you do,
"It won't amount to anything."
"You'll only fail, why bother?"
These voices, they never rest
They press on and on
With no end in sight
And I listen to them
I listen
And they destroy me
From top to bottom
Crushing my hopes and dreams
My desires and aspirations
Buried underneath the rubble
Confidence can never grow
Because of these inner voices
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Literature
I See Something Else
Why do you stare at your reflection in disgust?
What makes you hate yourself so much?
You and I see different things in your reflection
You see grotesque and rotund, even hideous.
However, I see something that you never do
I see fair skin, with cheeks flushed red
Lips, small and as pink as a rose petal
I see eyes that are as deep as the ocean
With two bright blue irises, just as beautiful
And hair the color of earth just after a rainstorm
I see beauty in the curves of your body
In the way you smile and laugh
And in the way you talk.
You may think to truly hate yourself,
Until the end of time itself
But I could never hate you
For you are me, as I am you.
And know this,
I love you
Even if you don't believe it
Just know that it is true.
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Doodles and Practice 2 by mikotohidotori Doodles and Practice 2 :iconmikotohidotori:mikotohidotori 4 0

Journal History

Activity


Cold

Alone

Afraid

Uncaring


These things I felt

So many times

Each night when

Nobody was around


The fireplace was alive

Roaring with life

Right before

My empty eyes


Tears,

Running down my face

My fists,

Clenched at my sides


My teeth,

Gnashing together

Creating an

Uncomfortable feeling in my jaw


They left for the night

Leaving me alone with the dog

With my emotions

And my unsteady thoughts


So much was overwhelming

Crashing and crashing

Over and over again

Like waves in a storm


I knew better than

To believe that

What I was thinking

Was an okay thing


Just make this stress

Make this torment

Make it all stop

Just this once


My legs began to move

Taking me to the kitchen

In front of one drawer

Out of many others


In it held the knives

Freshly sharpened

Sitting silently inside

Waiting patiently


I want to reach out

Open the drawer

But, for some reason

I stop and can’t


I close my eyes

My emotions and thoughts

Having collided earlier

Are now in turmoil


My eyes are closed

Blocking out the darkness

The darkness of the room

And the darkness of what I might do


My eyes are closed but then

I open them and the room

It’s no longer dark

But filled with a bright light


The people who I care about

Who care about me

They’re spread out around me

All of them smiling at me


Why

Why are they smiling

At me

Of all people?


Their voices surround me

They encourage me

Compliment me

Their words have always saved me


They tell me how they feel

Of how proud they are of me

Of how far I’ve come

And of how far I’ll go


Suddenly, the light dims

And the drawer is open

And a knife is laying

Right in front of me


But their voices

They make me stop

They make me want

To do something


They make me want

Want to live

Want to grow

Want to smile


Slowly, ever so slowly

I close the drawer

The knife itself

Fading from view


I turn around

Back to all of them

And I say

“Thank you for loving me.”
Loving Me
Hey guys, Mikoto here! So this little diddy is based off of some stuff I went through when I was younger! I won't go into detail so no worries!

Anyways, I hope you all have a great day and night! Bye-bye~!
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Here I sit

In the shadows

Of people

Who are better than me


Each day I try

Try to claw

Claw my way out

Out of their shadows


But to no avail

I’m thrown back

Back into their shadows

Away from the limelight


I beg

I plead

I try

And I fail


Fail to get them to see

To see me in the same light as them

As those who

Are considered superior to me


Here I am

Trying once more

Trying to form a connection

But with no success


Those who I talk to

Who I try to get to know

They sneer at me

And at my attempts of friendship


Am I not good enough?

Is it because I’m not as likable?

Is it because I’m socially inept?

Why does nothing work?


I try and try

With no end in sight

People who are close to me

Ignore my cries


My pleads to let me out

Out of the shadows

Out of their shadows

And into the limelight


I’m waiting still

And trying still

Trying to make friends

And waiting to step into the light


But I know

That will never happen

For who could ever

Wish to be my friend?
Limelight Trials
Hey guys, Mikoto here. So yeah, this is another vent piece mainly from my own anger about stuff. I'm not going to get into it because I really don't want to but yeah.

Anyways, I hope you all have a great day and night!

Bye.
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Trapped in a large cage

With only a little time to myself

My ankles were shackled

But the chain was long


What could be considered freedom

Was only an illusion

Comply to their demands

Agree with what they say


Never question them

Never fight back

Do those things

And I was given “freedom”


However, whenever I did fight back

When I didn’t comply

When I didn’t agree with them

They torn me to pieces and took away my limited “freedom”


The chain grew shorter

Time passing by

The cage grew smaller

My “freedom” becoming more limited


They had decided my future

They had decided on what I should do

Wary but still alive

I begrudgingly complied


But one day, something changed

Someone new had entered the picture

He had stepped into my cage

And gave me solace


It felt like bliss for a time

But then I broke him with my despair

And when I broke him

He left


Then along came a new person

He was different but familiar

He had spoken to me from outside my cage

Making my days easier and filled with more joy


One day he broke into the cage

And slowly we worked to break my chain

But as the chain grew shorter and the cage grew smaller

We hastened our pace to set me free


One night, we were so close

But then we were caught in the middle of our work

They threw him out

And glared down at me from the outside


Together, they snapped the chain

And tossed me out into the unknown

But into the arms of someone I knew

Someone who loved me like a mother would love her child


From that day forward

I began relishing in my freedom

It felt refreshing and new

Exciting and uplifting


So this was true freedom

This was what it felt like

To spread my nonexistent wings

And to, in a way, take flight
Limited Freedom
Hey guys, Mikoto here! So this was another free verse poem based around something that happened to me when I was younger. I won't go into details about it but yeah.

Anyways, I hope you all have a great day and night!

Bye-bye~!
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PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST! This awesome dude has commissions open to help his homeless friend earn money and find a place to live, checking out his page and spreading the word would be deeply appreciated!! :iconmangodere:
“Termonious, come on, wake up silly! We were going to play with Mercutio today, so you gotta wake up.”


He recognized that voice, he had heard it so many times throughout his life how could he not recognize it. It was her, with her short black hair and her bright green eyes. He had opened his eyes and let out a loud yawn as he sat up and stretched, almost hitting the girl who had been calling his name.


“Hey! Be careful Termonious, you almost hit me in the face with the top of your head.” He laughed at that and grinned at her, pushing himself up off of the ground.


“Then maybe you shouldn’t hover over me like that, Adonia.” She huffed at him in slight annoyance but couldn’t help but smile before grabbing his hand and pulling him along behind her.


“Well, come on then! Mercutio won’t wait for us if we take too long!”


He could feel someone rubbing circles into his chest, the sensation slowly bringing him back from the dream world and from a memory of days gone by. When he finally came to, he opened his eyes and blinked. Once, twice, three times before taking in his surroundings and the elven woman lying next to him, drawing circles on his chest with her finger. Right, Velaren was her name and what a beauty she was too. Her long, black hair was tousled from their activities from the night before and her alluring blue eyes were staring at him with a small smirk forming on her lips.


“Good morning, handsome. Do you want to stay the rest of the night here with me? We could go a few more rounds if you’re feeling up for more.” She let out a soft but seductive giggle, kissing at his neck a few times before looking back up at him.


He pushed himself back before sitting up in the bed, ignoring her for a moment to look out over the room groggily. Finally turning to look at her, he shook his head no and began to move his body to the opposite side of the bed. She merely shrugged and said that it was his loss before getting out of the bed herself and making her way towards the door. He got out of the bed and stretched his arms behind him then began the task of picking up his clothes from where they lay on the floor.


As he got dressed, he couldn’t help but ask himself why he kept coming here after everything that had happened. But he knew why, he was all too aware of his reasons why. He wanted to forget, even if it was only for a while, he wanted to forget the pain in his heart and the guilt that was eating him alive whenever he was alone.


Once he had finished dressing himself, he made his way out the door and towards the entrance of the building. Sparing a passing glance at the proprietress and owner of the high class building before opening the door to the outside and letting it close behind him. It was still dark out but he couldn’t see the moon through the tall buildings all around him. He wrapped his cloak tighter around himself to fend off the early morning chill then began making his way back to his home in the rich district of Waterdeep. He knew these streets and this area well, especially with how often he came down this way. He knew to tread lightly and swiftly so as not to get caught at knife point by the local thugs that ran through this city.


He didn’t know how long it took him to get to his home, but by the time he arrived the first signs of dawn were coloring the sky. He didn’t want to make a big scene of things so he slipped to the side of the villa and entered through the side door that led into the kitchen. When he walked in he was hit with the different smells of food being cooked and prepared for breakfast, and along with it he could hear the mumbling of the head cook, Marn, as she worked. He tried to shut the door as quietly as he possibly could before attempting to sneak past Marn while she was working. Just as he was about to creep up to the door leading to the dining room, a hand had grabbed him by the hood of his cloak and pulled him backwards.


“Termonious Alexander Maxwell Wilhelm the Fifth, you aren’t going anywhere.” Came the voice of Marn, motherly anger lacing every syllable. He knew that there was no talking his way out of the lecture he was about to receive from his former nursemaid, so quietly he followed. She had led him to an unopened barrell and told him to sit on top of it, letting go of his hood so that he could do just that. Once he had seated himself on top of the barrell, she moved in close and undid the buttons of his cloak and removed it from his shoulders. She saw the small bruises littering his neck and stepped back with a sigh, then pinned him with a harsh glare.


“How can you keep going back there, after all that has happened? You broke that woman’s heart and you still insist on going back to that infernal brothel. Answer me this, young master. What is going through that thick skull of yours?”


He couldn’t look her in the eyes and give her a straight answer. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to keep himself from breaking down right then and there. He knew that he broke her heart, he knew that what he was and is still doing, is wrong and that he needed to stop. But he couldn’t. He just wanted to forget the pain, the stress, everything. He just wanted to forget it all and if it meant going to that brothel will make him forget for even a small fraction of time, then he’d keep going.



“I don’t know, Marn, I wish I could give you an answer but I can’t.” He stared back at her with a somewhat  pained and pleading look. “I wish to go to my study so please, let me leave Marn.”



She analyzed him for a moment, taking in his hunched shoulders and how he seemed to curl in on himself. He was already paying for what he was doing, that she could tell was certain. With a sigh, she relented and backed away from him with a nod. “Very well then. I shall have the maids bring your food to your study when it is ready.”



As he stood up from his spot on the barrell, he smiled wearily at Marn and nodded his thanks to her before making his way to the door leading into the dining room. Once he had exited the kitchen, he made his way through the large and expansive dining room to the foyer of the mansion. Looking up at the grand staircase that led to the upper floors of the house, he began to climb the stairs to the floor that his study was located on.


As he ascended the stairs, he could hear the sounds of several sets of footsteps dragging across the marble floor of the foyer. His servants were up and about and would soon be making their rounds. With this in mind, he quickened his pace and continued up the rug covered steps until he reached the third floor. He made his way down the familiar halls of his second home, eventually reaching the door to his study.


Turning the knob, he pushed the door open as gently as he could without making any noise and crept into his study, closing and locking the door behind him. With a sigh, he made his way towards his desk that sat at the far end of the room, with a 10 foot tall window behind it that had a good view of the rich district. Making his way to the chair that sat behind the desk, he took a seat and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table while interlacing his fingers together and staring at the contents covering the surface of his desk.


Different types of documents sat in neat stacks upon his desk; trade agreements, political negotiations, several finished and unfinished maps of the Underdark, drawings of men and women that were wanted for crimes against a few cities and towns, and much more. But as important as all of those documents were, none of them mattered to him. No, what mattered to him was the singular envelope that sat beside the lamp on his desk. Inside that envelope held the letter and ring that had brought his world crashing down around him.


Reaching forward, he picked up the envelope and held it in front of him. He stared at it for a good few minutes, why he did that he wasn’t entirely sure. Perhaps he thought it would change the contents of the letter if he stared at it long enough? Taking in a deep breath, he pulled the letter out and unfolded it, ignoring the feeling of his stomach dropping as he read over the neat cursive.


To My Beloved Termonious,


I know what you've been doing these past few months Termonious. I gave you my heart and have been prepared to give all that I am and you threw it into the gutter. And for what? Elven prostitutes at a high-class brothel in a ten person orgy?


I have loved you for over seventeen years and I thought that you felt the same for me. But it seems that I was mistaken and played for a fool. I know that Mercutio gave you a piece of his mind when he saw you there and for that I'm grateful to him.


I wish to talk this over with you when I've come back from the journey that I'm currently on. Hopefully you won't be so occupied with other women to be able to talk to me.


For the time being, I'm sending you my former engagement ring for safe keeping until I return. We will have much to discuss and my family will have much to say on the matter once they receive my other letter.


You have been warned. You have broken my heart, Termonious, you have cleaved it in two and it hurts to write this letter to you. My eyes hurt from how much I've cried, my stomach has become coiled into knots; my mind is trying to get me to try and rationalize all of this mess.


My heart is throbbing with so much pain, my legs and arms feel like they're being held down by heavy weights. My hands won't stop shaking, the tears haven't stopped pouring out, and I can barely see through them.


Do you have any idea how much you’ve meant to me all these years? I am in so much pain right now, Termonious, and I can’t stand it. It hurts more than any wound that I’ve ever received in battle because it isn’t a physical wound but a wound to my heart. The very heart that you have had all this time.


Your Beloved,


Adonia E. G. Galahad


He could see where the paper had once been wet, the small dried spots evidence of her tears that had fallen as she wrote. It hurt to imagine her writing this letter every time he read it. Her body sitting up straight like a perfect lady as she began her letter, but as she continued to write her body would start to hunch over the desk that she was at. The quill in her hand gripped tight in between her fingers, her knuckles turning white as she ground her teeth together. Her eyes blinking rapidly as she’d try to stop the tears from falling, wanting to be strong. But they fell and he was the cause of her tears and pain.


He laid the letter back down on the desk, leaning back and covering his eyes with his hand as tears rolled down his cheeks. Where did it all go wrong? When did these visits to the brothel even begin? Why did he continue to go back? These were the questions that he asked himself every time he read that letter. After he had first received it and as the pain and guilt began to set in, he had thought of burning the letter to try and rid himself of what he was feeling. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it, no matter how many times he held it over the hearth of his study. Wiping the tears from his eyes and cheeks, he stared up at the ceiling and tried to remember how this whole mess started.


Right, ten years ago was when this mess all started and when he had set himself on this path. He had come to Waterdeep with his uncle along with his parents for a family trip. It was a humid day and the wind was growing ever so stronger as the hours passed by. His uncle had brought him out under the guise of a late night stroll through the city. They did stroll through the city but they ended up walking close to the docks of Waterdeep and to a building that had bright lights seeping from every window. There wasn’t a sign but there were quite a few people outside of the building with bottles of alcohol in hand, drinking their cares away.

He had asked his uncle why they came to this place and his uncle merely smiled at him and said that he thought it would be a good experience for him. Reluctantly, he followed his uncle inside and the sight that he was met with nearly made him run right back out. A gnomish woman sat at a desk, a large book in front of her and a quill and ink well to her right with a coin purse to her left. And behind her he could see a few half naked men and women walking to and from several rooms. He had turned to his uncle and demanded a straight answer from him. Why did he bring him to a brothel of all places when he knew that he was engaged?! Once again, his uncle smiled at him and began to justify why he brought him to the brothel. Saying that it would relieve him of his stress and worries, along with gaining experience for when he and Adonia were finally wed.


He didn’t know what to do at that moment. Sure, he could have left but then he’d have to come up with an excuse for his uncle’s absence when he returned to the villa. However, it was an option, a better one than sticking around at the brothel. His uncle spoke up again and offered him an alternative to being serviced. There was a bar at the back of the building, just past the gnome woman, that he could sit down at while his uncle had his fun. So he did just that, making a beeline for the bar and taking a seat at the countertop. The orc behind the counter was pleasant enough, making small talk with him while pouring a drink for him.


After paying for the drink, he began his long wait through the night. He remembered that he kept ordering drinks over the course of a few hours. He had lost count of how many drinks he had when an elven woman had come up to the bar next to him and began talking to him. After that it was a hazy blur, the feeling of her skin against his as she pulled him into a room. Her hands guiding his on where to touch her, where she would feel good. The kisses they had shared were sloppy and at a level of intimacy that he should have been sharing with his fiance. The rest of his memories from that night were filled with nothing but sex and the sounds that filled the room. When the next morning came, he woke up in an unfamiliar bed with a splitting headache and as naked as the day he was born. He looked to his left and found the elven woman from the night before asleep beside him.


He had begun to think back on what he had done the night before, burying his face in his hands from shame. He had sex with another woman, before he had even had sex with Adonia, his own fiance. But as he thought about it more, he couldn’t deny to himself that it had felt incredible, better than anything he had felt before. At those thoughts, he shook his head free of them. What was he thinking? If word got out about this, if Adonia or his parents found out, he would be ruined. He wouldn’t be able to become governor of Canterbury and he’d lose the love of his life and the inheritance from his family’s fortune. He’d be nothing if anyone knew even a word about what had happened here. And so, when he left the room and met up with his uncle in the lobby, they agreed to keep it between them.


After that day, whenever he’d be in Waterdeep for a small amount of time, he’d make his way to the brothel. He had become addicted to what he felt during sex with these other women. Soon, he began to notice things about them and started comparing them to Adonia. They each held more beauty than her, their bodies weren’t littered with scars from combat, they weren’t shy or meek about what they wanted; they were adventurous and exciting, and more than anything, they knew how to make him feel good.


A knock on the door to his study brought him back to reality. Ah, it was one of the maids there to bring his breakfast to him. Pushing himself away from his desk, he stood from his chair and made his way to the door and unlocked it. He let the maid in with the trolley filled with covered trays of delicious food being pushed in front of her. She pushed the trolley to the side of his desk and uncovered the trays before placing a napkin and silverware down beside them. With a smile and he thanked her with a soft voice then dismissed her. Once she had left the room, he moved the documents that were stacked upon his desk to the side. He picked up one of the trays, along with the silverware, and placed them on the desk in front of him.


As he sat down at the desk, he began to think back to how his body has been reacting to the stress over the last six months. Cutting a piece of the sausage that lay on his plate, he remembered how he was the first week after receiving the letter from Adonia. He had locked himself in his room, the mental and emotional stress causing him to become ill. The stress made him vomit his heart out whenever he would eat anything. For days he couldn’t keep his food down, but as time went on he managed to work through that illness and he was able to eat again. However, he still does have his days where the stress comes back with a vengeance and causes him to experience that all over again. He had lost a significant amount of weight due to the stress, all at once to the point of where it was unnatural and left parts of his body scarred from it. He did gain some of that weight back, but the scars never faded. With a sigh, he continued to eat his breakfast in silence, consumed by his own thoughts.


Another week had passed and when he was leaving the brothel again, he stopped and asked the gnomish owner if she had received any word about Adonia and her companions. With a shake of her head and a disinterested no, she turned back to counting the gold in her coin purse. He sighed and stepped out the door and into the chilly late night air. For months he had been paying the gnome woman an extra 50 gold for any information that she had on where Adonia and her companions had gone. Had they come back? Did she know of anyone that could provide him with more information? At his second question, she told him that the group had met with a halfling woman named Jenna. For an extra 15 gold, she gave him a description of the woman. Once she had given him the description, he began his arduous hunt for the halfling. A month had passed before he finally found her roaming the outdoor shops of the city. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into a side alley. She had fought against him and he had to cover her mouth to keep her from shouting for the guard. When he explained why he had pulled her to the side, she had stopped and glared at him.


She demanded to know why he wanted to know about the group of adventurers and their quest. He then told her who he was and what he planned to do with the information if she divulged it to him. She had stared at him for a good while before sighing and letting him in on what she knew. What she told him made him step away from her, his eyes wide and mouth agape in shock and fear. They were chasing down the cult of the dragon queen? Why would they take on such a suicidal endeavor? Why would she just throw her life away like that, again? Honestly, he had an idea as to why she would do it, to protect innocent people from harm. Jenna told him of the group’s last known location, close to a swamp that was a good 8 hour journey on horseback. This urged him to round up a group of mercenaries to go with him as he tried to chase after them. But after three weeks of trying to find clues as to where they went from that area near the swamp, the mercenaries had become fed up with this otherwise foolish attempt. Demanding to be paid in full, he gave in to their demands and returned to Waterdeep to pay each of them. Once he had finished paying the mercs, he went to the city guards and asked for them to send word to him immediately if the group returned to the city.


Alas, he had to leave Waterdeep and make his way to Silverymoon for a trade negotiation with a well-known merchants guild. When he arrived at Silverymoon, he went to the city guards and asked for them to also alert him immediately if the group came to the city. Days passed and he sat in the study of his villa in the city, it was the middle of the day but the storm outside blotted out the sunlight. The rain hit the window panes in large droplets at a fast pace as the wind and thunder roared outside, filling in the silence of the room. A warm fire roared in the hearth of his study, the wood popping from the flames. He was reading over the details of the trade negotiation when one of the city guards burst into the room. The man was out of the breath and soaked to the bone. Seeing the state that the man was in, Termonious stood from his desk and quickly made his way towards the guard.


“Breathe good sir, what news do you bring in this miserable storm?” He asked with a worried but kind voice, helping the man to one of the chairs close to the fireplace. The man shivered but spoke to him through clattering teeth to the best of his abilities.


“A-A-Adonia, sir. She and a group of others with her h-have been s-spotted outside… Outside of the city.” The man took a deep breath then continued on with his report. Termonious’ eyes grew wide as he looked at him with surprise and expectancy.


“They were… T-they were fighting hill giants s-sir.”


“Soldier, have you rallied up a group to send them assistance?”


“Yes sir, they’re on route to the northwest, just outside the city.” With that last statement, Termonious ran from his study at breakneck speed.


He ran to his armory, quickly throwing on his armor and grabbing his bow and quiver. Sprinting down the grand staircase, he headed straight for the stables. Saddling up his mount and climbing into the saddle, he veered the horse out of the stables and galloping through the streets of Silverymoon. The rain pelted him and his horse as thunder and lightning clashed in the sky above them. The wind blew harsh against them as they made their way towards to the outside of the city. Soon enough, they had made it outside of the city and farther up ahead of them he could see a group of city guards galloping further out. Urging his mount onward with a kick to the side, he began to catch up with them. Eventually he caught up to them, even going so far as to passing them. He was desperate, he needed to get to her. He needed to help her, protect her.


Climbing up a small hill and reaching the top, he could see out several yards in front of him and there they were. He could see a group of people fighting four hill giants, however, only one of them stood out to him the most. Her short black hair, her armor wet and her shield on her back with a great axe wielded in both of her hands. It was her, Adonia. He had to get closer, he had to help her! Urging his horse onward, he began to close the gap between himself, the group of adventurers, and the giants. Once he was within range, he reined in his mount then pulled out his bow and an arrow from his quiver. Notching his bow and aiming for the giant that was closest to Adonia, he drew the string back then let it fly straight and true. The arrow hit its’ mark in the shoulder of the hill giant that was battling against Adonia. The giant cried out in pain then looked over in his direction, Adonia following his gaze. He could see her eyes grow wide then narrow as she turned her attention back to her opponent.


With the help of him and the city guards that had caught up to him, they all took down the giants with ease. Her group began making their way towards Termonious and the guards, sheathing their weapons along the way. When they were close enough, he dismounted and handed the reins to one of the guards. Before he could make his way over to her, one of the other guards went running up to the group, removing and throwing his helmet to the ground. The face behind the helmet was red skinned with horns, dark blue hair and yellow eyes. A Tiefling? Why was he running towards their group? Did he know one of the other members of her group? But all of those questions were answered when he ran up to Adonia with a big grin that matched her own and picked her up, hugging her and spinning her around in joy. His heart felt a sharp pain from the sight, seeing the love that the Tiefling held for his- No, for Adonia. Averting his eyes from the spectacle, he waited for her to finally notice him standing there. And she did, for when she was put down she made her way over to him. She held a small smile on her face as she pulled him into a tight hug and whispered a thank you for coming to meet them. He hugged her back, pressing a kiss to her cheek. When they let go, she decked him right in the stomach and sent him hurling to the ground. Okay, he deserved that after what he has done.


It would seem that the next few days are going to be very taxing on him mentally and emotionally.
His Story
Hey there guys, Mikoto here! This is a short story about the ex-fiancé of my Dungeons & Dragons character, Adonia.

For those of you who wish to critique my work, here are some question I have for you. Thank you for taking the time to look over them.

Does the piece work? What impression do you get from it? Are my characters believable? Does the piece hold your interest? Were you able to follow the story and the events behind it? Is there anything you think I should elaborate on?

Anyway, I hope you guys have an awesome day/night!!

Bye-bye!! ^w^

Here's a link to the sequel, Her Pain! Just be sure to read His Story first before reading Her Pain. mikotohidotori.deviantart.com/…
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Okay, story time~

So I was playing Fable 2 and I had just married off my character to a monk who is a prude. So, after getting married and doing the naked tango under the bed sheets, TWICE, he thinks my character is ugly afterward because he's a prude.

After the second time, I have my character go and start making money by chopping wood at 2 in the morning. So 6 a.m. rolls around and I'm still chopping wood when my character's husband comes up to her. I was a little confused by that but was like "Whatever, just keep chopping wood."

From 6 in the morning to 6 at night, he stood there while she chopped wood ALL DAY, and kept saying every 5 seconds, "I just had some seafood, you know what that means. Let's go find a bed." "I think it's time we make our relationship more physically intimate~" "I want you, I want you NOW."

That's what I had to hear over and over and OVER again while I chopped wood to make money to support his horny butt!

deviantID

mikotohidotori
Marisa Cunningham
Artist
United States
Where do I begin? Well, I'm an anime fan with a slowly reducing obsession with chocolate. I love to read fanfics, reader inserts, webcomics, and lemons. -w- Teehee... I also love to play video games, mainly games like Pokemon, Harvest Moon, Fire Emblem: Awakening, Rune Factory 4 (FINALLY! A game where I can be a girl!), Soul Calibur, Street Fighter, Kingdom Hearts, and so on. You get the picture it's very limited. I do not play any games online, I stopped after being confused by this one MMO game on the Internet that I cannot remember the name of.

Fave Male Characters: Equius Zahhak (Homestuck), Stark (Bleach), Gangrel (Fire Emblem: Awakening), Ikkaku (Bleach), Claude (Black Butler 2), Cronus Ampora (Homestuck), Gerome (Fire Emblem: Awakening), strangely enough Grell (Black Butler), Suigetsu (Naruto Shippuden), Deidara (Naruto Shippuden), Cross (D.Grayman), Jasdero (D.Grayman), Nightwing (Young Justice), Hans or the Captain (Hellsing Ultimate), Maxwell (Hellsing Ultimate), Archie (Pokemon), France (Hetalia), Sweden (Hetalia), and America (Hetalia)!

Current Residence: None of your business really.
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Unknown
Print preference: Unknown
Favourite genre of music: All Types Of Music, It Doesn't Matter
Favourite photographer: I Have None
Favorite style of art: Anime/Manga, realistic, watercolor painting
Operating System: What's That?
MP3 player of choice: It doesn't really matter
Shell of choice: ?
Wallpaper of choice: ??
Skin of choice: ???
Favourite cartoon character: Rukia from 'Bleach, Tenten from 'Naruto' and 'Naruto Shippuden', Yuffie Kisaragi from 'Final Fantasy VII', and Rikku from 'Final Fantasy X-2'.
Personal Quote: "By The Power Vested In Me I Now Pronounce You Deleted And Blocked. You May Now Kiss My Ass!"
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:iconx-memoire-x:
x-Memoire-x Featured By Owner 19 hours ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hello!
Thank you so much for the fav! :dance: :woohoo:

Have a great day! :hug:
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mikotohidotori Featured By Owner 14 hours ago
You're welcome dearie! You have a wonderful day and night! ^w^
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Merilfaen696 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2017  New Deviant
Thanks for the faves >w<
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:iconmikotohidotori:
mikotohidotori Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2017
Oh, you're welcome dearie! ^w^
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bylynnamalina Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for the Favorite! Hatsune Miku-02 (Winks)
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:iconmikotohidotori:
mikotohidotori Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017
You're welcome, I hope that you're having a wonderful day! ^w^
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:iconbylynnamalina:
bylynnamalina Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much! I hope you're having a wonderful day too Adorable Girl Anime Emoji (Kawaii Wink) [V6] 
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ScribbleLife Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017
Thanks for the loads of fav! You made my day! :D
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mikotohidotori Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2017
You're welcome, I'm happy to have made your day! :3
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Sumirechii Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Thankies for the fave hun, means a lot ;;7;;
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